As part of my New Year, New Regime I reported to you that I’ve started to walk to work and have began to utilise my iPod’s pedometer functionality. As such, today I’ve come to the conclusion if I keep up my antics, my iPod is going to earn me an ASBO. For those of you unfamiliar with an ASBO, it stands for Anti-Social Behavioural Order. Essentially it’s being tagged as a social misfit in a sense…So, you ask, how is my iPod doing this to me? Well, let’s look at what happened on my way home from work today (it’s only a 1.5 mile walk)…
I left the office and turned on the iPod to listen to music and to count my steps…pretty normal, right. Well, it all changed when the first song ended…I can’t remember what the first song was, but at any rate, the second song was Witch Doctor covered the Cartoons (Smash Hits 2000 [Disc 2] if you’re curious). At any rate, as the song was playing, I decided to get well in the groove –
Ooo eee, ooo ah ah ting tang
Walla walla, bing bang
and without even noticing it, I was “dancing” down the pedestrian path on my way home (through one of the dodgier parts of the island I live on, might I add). Ok, embarrassing you might think, but not ASBO material right? Well, song 3 was rubbish and another feature of the iPod (alongside the pedometer) is “shake”. You shake it and it randomises a new song for you. Well, my iPod lives in my trouser pocket to keep it dry and also to keep up on the steps. Well, rather than get it out to “shake” it to find a new song, I began to shake my leg as if I were a dog who had just relieved himself. Mistake 2 right? I didn’t mind and even more so, a new problem was now Europe’s Final Countdown was on and I began air drumming to it. By this time, I was on one of the main roads where I live and cars were passing thick and fast and there I was air drumming as if nothing was going on around me…
Morale of this? If not careful your iPod will in fact earn you an ASBO as it:
- makes you air drum to songs in public
- makes you shake your leg like a dog in public
- makes you dance for no reason in public
- makes you walk longer routes than normal just to try and beat your previous step counts
My suggestion….Stay away from the iPod, stay far far away 
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